I’m joking, of course. I still want him to stay in there until January.

Today, as part of the prenatal workup for the full-term health check, baby and I had what might be our last ultrasound. They will do another one at 40 weeks if he hasn’t arrived by then, but it may or may not get to that point.

In this ultrasound, I noticed that he’s so big now that I really can’t see much anymore. I got a look at his big head and his spine. He’s posterior-facing, looking toward my back, which is good, since that is the easiest position for birth. The tech managed to get a good view of his ear, but that was the only body part that was easily distinguishable from the angle he’s facing. I also got to see that he has some hair, so he won’t be born bald, apparently!
The tech measured his head and body and declared that he is a little over seven pounds. The doctor says this is normal for his gestational age and my ethnicity and height/weight profile. Chinese babies are generally a little smaller than Caucasian babies, just as many of the Chinese women here are smaller than me.

In actuality, what I was told was basically something along the lines of “The baby is big but it’s ok because you have big American hips so you can have the baby naturally and it will be ok.” I think something gets lost in the translation between the doctor’s second-language English and my very poor Chinese. As I told my partner Justin, who had to miss today’s appointment due to work, “Everything looks fine because I’m a fat American and can birth a big baby.”

I am kind of hoping he doesn’t grow too much more. The charts all say that the baby grows about a half pound a week during the last month or so, but since I want him to stay in there another 3-4 weeks, I’m looking at a 8 1/2 to 9 pound baby!

Nonetheless, it was good to see him again and maybe the next time I see him will be not on an ultrasound monitor, but in person. (Just not until January, please.)

I find it quite strange here in Beijing, actually, that many (if not most) women choose to voluntarily have a C-section. They schedule their baby’s birth for a particular time, date and doctor and are processed quite efficiently by a system that is completely used to this way of doing things.

Um, yeah, I’m so not going that route.

I’m lucky in a way that I’m working with a birth center that’s used to dealing with foreigners. They’re fairly accepting of the idea that we apparently like to do things differently, even if we get looked at a bit askance when we say things like “natural birth” and “no medication.”

Yep, that’s the route I’m going- no C-section, no epidural, no inductions, etc. I suppose even in the U.S. many would question my choices (I mean, who turns down pain meds, right?), but I make them for a few reasons.

One, I don’t like the idea of either me or my baby having any kind of meds in our systems right after birth. I want to start breastfeeding immediately, and I know sometimes the meds can hinder this.

Second, I’m really not looking forward to lying flat on my back for any long portion of this whole thing- I want to be able to walk around and get in whatever position I want for labor, and once an epidural takes effect that becomes impossible.

Third, I’m a writer. Now, this might seem like it has nothing to do with how I give birth, but think about it- one day I might have a scene to write in a novel or story where someone is giving birth. I want to know what it feels like. Being completely medicated would rob me of that experience. Yeah, I know that one is weird, but it’s still a reason on my list.

Fourth, I’m kinda stubborn. And if my ancestors could do it, I sure as hell can give birth without resorting to a wimpy “give me the drugs” change of heart. In some ways I guess it’s a test to see if I can hold out on my convictions about this.

I’ve been reading about and practicing some things in the Hypnobirthing and Hypnobabies programs. We don’t have classes here in Bejing for these things, but I have a friend who used these methods when she birthed her daughter last year and I’ve done meditation in martial arts practice for quite a few years, so I was already familiar with the basics of self-relaxation techniques.

I’m not sure I started the program early enough to achieve the completely peaceful, seemingly painless natural birth some women have using these techniques, but I’m giving it a go.

So I’m heading into the “birth” part of the birth plan with full confidence in my ability to do this whole thing without medication and as little medical intervention as possible. And the nurses working at the birth center continue to nod and smile and look at me as one of those strange foreigners who makes choices they don’t quite get.

On the flip side, there are also a lot of pregnancy-recommended foods and meals in the Chinese diet, some of which are quite delicious. I learned about this when one of my friends became pregnant about two months after me and started introducing me to some of the foods she is eating.

One thing in traditional Chinese culture is the idea of “hot” and “cold” foods. Since pregnancy is considered a “hot” condition, the mother is encouraged to eat “cold” foods to balance her body out. Balance is really important in traditional Chinese culture.

Even modern Chinese moms who don’t believe in the old ways often get gifts of food tailored to their condition given by their own mothers and grandmothers who want to ensure that the baby will be getting those traditional requirements met. One result of this attention on specific foods is the development of special pregnancy recipes, which include things that are supposed to help the baby grow and help the mother’s complexion, emotions and energy (something we moms-to-be can definitely appreciate, no matter what culture!)

One of my Chinese friends shared one example with me- a cold pregnancy soup traditionally given throughout pregnancy to balance those warm forces generated by the fetus. I thought it was quite good, and worth sharing with fellow western moms-to-be. Most of the ingredients are a little exotic, but can be easily found at Asian grocery stores or health food stores in the U.S. or U.K.

Cold Lotus Seed and Snow Fungus Pregnancy Soup

1 cup dried white fungus (also known as snow fungus)

2 Tablespoons Chinese wolfberries (also called goji berries)

1/2 cup dried lotus seeds

4 cups of water

1/2 cup rock sugar

Instructions:

Pre-wash all of the fungus, lotus seeds and wolfberries to get rid of dust from harvesting.

Soak the dried lotus seeds for 1 hour.

Soak the dried snow fungus for 15-20 minutes until it softens. Trim any parts that stay too hard. Cut the fungus into manageable pieces if it is too big.

Bring the water to a boil in a pot. Add the snow fungus and lotus seeds to the water and simmer 30 minutes.

Add the wolfberries and sugar and cook for two more minutes.

Put the soup in the fridge overnight to chill it. (Remember, this is a cold soup!)

Enjoy a bowl of cool soup the next day (or later that evening for impatient folks like me!)

One of my problems is that I’m not a fan of pants to begin with- I don’t think I’ve owned any jeans since the 90s- so maternity pants are out of the question. Unfortunately, that doesn’t leave many options.

I’m also not fond of dresses decorated with cartoon characters, which seems to be a theme at some of the stores I’ve encountered.

Here in China there’s a style of maternity clothes that have lead linings, aimed at protecting the pregnant woman from any potential exposure to radiation. Moms-to-be who work with computers often get these, since there is a general paranoia over computer radiation here that Western moms don’t tend to have. Some of these radiation dresses are, of course, decorated with cute cartoon characters.  Justin and my friends have been teasing me that I need to get an outfit like that. My answer is a very emphatic NO!

I tend to be an eclectic dresser anyway. My favorite style is best described as bohemian. I did manage to find a marvelous long brown flowy maternity skirt at a local market, along with a few extra large skirts that can accommodate my growing belly and some long tops made of stretchy material.

I’m also cheap- I’ll admit it. I hate the idea of buying clothes I’m only going to wear for a couple of months.  And maternity clothes are expensive! I just can’t justify paying three, four, ten times the amount I’d spend on normal clothes for a two-month purchase. I’d rather save the money to spend on cute baby stuff.

Some of my old skirts with elastic waistbands stretch enough that I can wear them under my bump, low on my hips, so that gives me a few possibilities. I don’t think they’ll last me much longer, though, since my bump seems to be growing at an accelerated rate now that I’m in my third trimester.

I guess having only three outfits is ok, as long as I remember to wash clothes every day. The people at work might get tired of seeing me wear the same thing over and over, but these days they’re paying more attention to my growing belly than to what I’m wearing anyway. I can always switch around the accessories if I have to. I’ve already arranged to borrow one of Justin’s large winter coats for December, since my streamlined coat isn’t gonna cut it anymore and I am SO not buying a maternity coat for one month. I’m sure I’m going to look a little silly practically swimming in his big coat, but at least the belly will be warm.

Aside from that, it’s been a fairly warm autumn so far and the central heating should turn on in a few weeks. So staying in my PJs until late in the day isn’t looking like a bad option for the next two months. When winter comes, maybe I’ll splurge on an extra-large robe.

But some things about mommies-to-be are cultural, as I’m rapidly learning. And sometimes those differences can make me feel even more strangely out-of-place than normal. (And being a reddish-haired, freckled, pale-skinned American in Beijing puts me squarely in the “a little out-of-place” category even when I’m not pregnant!)

One of the things that continues to startle me is the way that pregnant women here take it easy. I’m so used to the American culture of working and remaining active pretty much right up until birth. But in China, moms-to-be often take off work for much of the first and third trimesters.  Some go work during their second trimester, but many just stop working during the entire pregnancy. Doctors regularly tell their patients to stay at home for the first 12 weeks. My Chinese friends were shocked that I was climbing the Great Wall with my parents at around week 11. (It was their first visit! You can’t miss the Great Wall on your first visit!) Admittedly, I did plead fatigue on some of the harder portions, but the mere fact I was out there seemed to be shocking to many.

As I get much more visibly pregnant, I’m sometimes greeted with awe and confusion. I’ve been asked why I’m out and not resting at home. Amusingly enough, my standard answer “I’m American. We like to stay active” seems to satisfy almost any curiosity.

Some of my closer Chinese friends have confided in me that they admire my activity levels during pregnancy. One told me recently “I really want to be like you when I have a baby. I want to go to restaurants and walk around town and do stuff with my friends!”

I’m also a curiosity in other ways. The expatriate population in Beiijing is fairly small. I frequently encounter people who have never seen a pregnant foreigner before. (For that matter, I still occasionally encounter people who have never before seen a foreigner, period.) Everyone is extremely friendly, but they do have a lot of questions. Do I plan on working after I have the baby is one. Will I have an ayi is another. (An ayi is like a nanny/ housekeeper/ Chinese granny- it literally means “an auntie” and many people hire an ayi if they don’t have close family nearby. In Chinese culture, the grandparents often come live with the family of a new baby for a while and help the new parents.)

I’m still working out the answers to some of those questions, but there is one Chinese tradition I will definitely NOT be taking part in. A close Chinese friend told me that Chinese mothers traditionally do not bathe or shower or do any work for the first month after the baby is born. They are expected to stay in bed and recover from the birth. No thanks, I say! I’m heading to the showers as soon as I possibly can after I give birth!

If anyone asks me about it, I’ll just tell them I’m American and that’s how we do things in the West.