Justin and I have transitioned from thinking about pregnancy to thinking about baby these days and everything seems to be some combination of getting ready for his arrival and waiting to see when exactly that will be.

I feel like I count things in baby time now. This last week wasn’t nearly as much about “three days, two days, one day until Christmas” as it was about “one week until my due date” or “five days until I stop working and go on semi-maternity leave.” (I tutor outside the home as well as write from home, so my outside work stops, but my at-home work really has no need to, which is why I’m calling it “semi-maternity leave”)

Last Sunday, December 27th, was my “original due date,” the first date they gave me when they calculated from my LMP. We knew it was slightly off though, and it got changed to match the ultrasound, so now I’m considered a few days before my due date instead of a few days after it.

Everyone I see or talk to on the phone or online asks if I’ve had the baby yet. (Nope, but I’m sure I’ll announce it everywhere when I do!)

I feel like I’m trying to balance planning anything with the possibility of having the baby at any moment. Every invitation to go have dinner or see a movie with friends or query as to whether I will be at our local writers’ group this week has to be answered “I think so, as long as I don’t go into labor before then…”

Every time I call Justin, his first questions are “Are you in labor? Do I need to come home from work now?” I’ve learned to call and say “Not yet. Just calling to ask you a question” before he even speaks.

Of course, I’m also wondering how long this waiting game will last. I don’t seem to be exhibiting any signs that he’ll try to beat my self-imposed “wait til January” deadline, but it could always go the other way, too. I’m not sure how I’ll be feeling if he decides to wait a couple of weeks after my due date! At that point, my conversations with my belly are sure to turn from “Just wait a little longer” to “Ok, you can come out now. Please!”

Meanwhile, I’m just waiting. And buying baby clothes. And wondering if I will, indeed, make it to writers group next Monday or not.

“Engaged” in pregnancy terms means something quite different, of course, but many women aren’t sure exactly what it does mean. So here is a little Q&A about the process and what it means.

What does “The baby is engaged” mean?

Basically, when the baby becomes engaged, he or she has dropped into the pelvic cavity and is getting ready for birth. Before that point, the baby is floating around in the womb, with head above the pubic bones, bouncing along merrily as mom goes about her daily activities.

Can you feel when the baby engages?

I didn’t really notice much difference, but it depends on the woman. Most people don’t seem to feel the actual engagement and need to be told by their doctor that it’s happened. Some moms-to-be notice a feeling that the baby has dropped down lower than before, giving a little more room in the upper abdomen that allows for easier breathing (which is why it is also sometimes called “lightening”.) I didn’t really have any breathing issues, so I didn’t notice that. I DID notice that this past week I’ve been having less heartburn, which is probably because baby is not pushing up on my stomach so much. And I’ve also noticed more need to go to the bathroom, probably because of a bit more pressure on my bladder.

Does the baby engaged mean the baby will be born early?

Nope. There’s not really any correlation. In first-time moms, the babe can drop down and become engaged anytime from a month before labor starts up til the day of birth. For subsequent pregnancies it is usually a little later, so it’s not uncommon for second and further babies not to engage until they are ready to be born.

What are the numbers the doctor gives?

The doctor will usually assign numbers- also called stations- to measure engagement. These take the form of +2, _1, 0, -1, -2.  The positive numbers mean the baby is dropping lower and lower, with +2 being when you have baby’s head pushing down on your cervix. Station 0 is the earliest stage of engagement, when the baby is in the middle of your belly with head dipping just down past your pelvic bones. Anything in the positive numbers means the baby hasn’t engaged yet and is still floating above the pelvic bones.

So there it is, an explanation of engaged that doesn’t require grounding your baby for starting to date before out of the womb!

Nonetheless, I’ve been amused and entertained by my baby’s fetal hiccups since I first experienced them a month or so ago. I looked up a lot of stuff about them, curious as to what was going on in there and found answers to some of my questions:

What are fetal hiccups?

Basically, fetal hiccups are when the baby is practicing breathing in the womb. He doesn’t have any air in there, so he’s taking amniotic fluid into his lungs and “breathing” it out again. This makes his diaphragm work hard and sometimes causes hiccups.

Are fetal hiccups a good thing?

Yep. Feeling your baby’s hiccups means that he’s getting practice using his lungs and diaphragm. This means the baby will be able to breathe effectively when he’s born. So fetal hiccups are good and show that the baby is healthy. Besides, they’re kinda cute.

How often do fetuses hiccup?

It depends. Sometimes the pregnant mom doesn’t feel it very often- maybe only a couple of times over the last few months of pregnancy. A few days ago, my baby got an attack of the hiccups three times in one day! So part of it depends on the baby and some on how the baby is positioned, since in some positions, the baby might be getting hiccups but the mom doesn’t feel it.

Can I stop fetal hiccups?

No. There’s pretty much nothing the mom can do about them- just ride it out. Some pregnant women find them annoying, but it’s better to try and think of them as a good, healthy thing. I think sometimes my baby gets frustrated by them, since after a few minutes of hiccupping, he will start squirming around a lot, like he’s trying to stop them or get rid of the sensation. I personally find this really funny, but I kinda feel sorry for him in a way if he’s not happy with his hiccupping!

Overall, I think fetal hiccups are another one of those things that is extremely cute and funny. I’ve heard that some babies who hiccup a lot in the womb will also hiccup a lot when they are newborns. I’m interested to see if my baby will be one of those frequent hiccupers after birth and whether he will get all squirmy and wriggly when he hiccups then like he does now!

He has thus far succeeded in twisting his cord into a knot, which he subsequently untied before the next ultrasound. Then he managed to wrap his cord all the way around himself, including around his neck, which he also managed to get himself out of by the ultrasound after that one- four weeks later.Sometimes it feels like every time we go for another ultrasound the baby has done something new and potentially dangerous with his cord!

Because his cord has become quite the obsession with me, I’ve done a lot of research and written a few articles for various publications about umbilical cord problems. (I figure it’s a good way to simultaneously ease my own mind and help others.)

Some of the things I’ve learned are:

1 – Umbilical cord problems are fairly frequent, but mostly resolve themselves or end up not being too serious. My baby is an example of this, having worried us by getting himself so tangled up more than once but getting himself out of trouble all by himself. Even in cases where the baby doesn’t untangle himself, things like knots and having a cord tangled around the neck or body doesn’t seem to hurt the baby most of the time. As long as the cord doesn’t pull too tight, it’s flexible enough to handle some knotting and twisting.

2 – Umbilical cords are pretty tough. Most of the time people think of the fetus in there as being fragile, and in some ways they are. But the mom’s body is really good at protecting that developing life, and the umbilical cord is one good example. A healthy umbilical cord can be twisted, compressed, knotted or bent and still manage to get enough nutrients and blood to the baby. It’s designed to handle a lot of stress, and apparently fetuses tend to put it through quite a lot, pulling, tugging and twisting it as they grow and explore their watery little world in there. It’s so tough, in fact, that the scissors or knife that the doctor (or the daddy) uses to cut it after birth has to be really sharp to work through it.

3 – There are some potentially major problems that can happen with an umbilical cord, like a too short cord or one that wraps around the neck too tightly right before birth. But doctors all know about these problems, and are really good these days at diagnosing them and immediately instituting measures to fix the problem or move the mom into an emergency C-section to bypass the issue. So even if a big problem does occur, it’s likely to be ok with quick action.

Learning so much about umbilical cords has made me feel a bit better about my baby’s apparent obsession with tangling up his own. In a cute turn of events dealing with the cord, one of the photos we got from his 20 week ultrasound shows him with his hands clenched above him. He was, as the doctor explained, holding onto the umbilical cord with both hands, checking out his lifeline and showing us on camera this strange thing that’s floating around in the amniotic sac with him.

I tutor children in English here in China a few times a week and last week when I arrived at one of my students’ homes, I was a little early. She was finishing up her piano practice before English class and invited me to listen. She eagerly showed off a piece she’d been learning. I’m not sure who the composer was, but the music was classical style, maybe Beethoven or Bach.

As the strains of classical piano wafted through the room, the baby started kicking and squirming in response to the music. My student’s piano playing was pretty good- and apparently baby thought so too! His applause was conveyed through twists and turns and thumps.

After class, when I got home, I decided to try to see if the baby would have different responses to different styles of music. It’s been difficult to gauge his reaction at times, but I’m considering any strong movement as approval. (Though I suppose it could mean I’m annoying him with all that noise!)

Now that he’s started developing sleep-wake cycles, times when he is active and times when he is quieter, I had to be sure to pick an active time to try my test. I waited until I felt him start moving around a little and then I began to play a few songs each of different types of music while I sat on the couch and observed his reaction.

So far, he seems to enjoy piano music the best. Jazz gets a little reaction. Rock music doesn’t get much response. Oddly enough, the ringtone on my cell phone seems to be well-received, something I inadvertently discovered when it rang while I had the stereo turned off for a few minutes.

Now I’m wondering if I’ll be investing in a piano a few years down the road. I’m a fairly dismal piano player myself- I learned as a child, but wasn’t very good at it. I did play flute for many years, but piano was something I found more difficult. But maybe he’ll inherit it from the rest of my family, since my mother, grandmother and cousin can all play piano much better than me!

No matter whether he decides he wants to try to play piano later or not, I do find it interesting that sometimes babies will continue to enjoy sounds they heard in the womb and find them relaxing. Perhaps playing Beethoven or Bach on the stereo will be a good way to help him get to sleep when he’s fussy after he’s born.

This condition is not really rare, but it does require a bit of meal planning to deal with it. My doctor recommended eating small meals and snacks all throughout the day- at least three meals and two snacks. Each meal or snack should have some protein and some carbohydrates, with the goal of keeping my blood sugar from shooting up quickly. I was also told to make sure to eat something before bed, since it can help prevent blood sugar from dropping overnight, which could cause a blood sugar spike when I eat breakfast the next morning.

The danger of gestational diabetes is that if the mother’s blood sugar fluctuates wildly, whenever it goes up quickly, the baby’s blood sugar will also rise, since he’s getting blood from her system. When this happens, his body will produce insulin, which will cause him to store excess fat. This is called a macrosomic baby, and it can be dangerous if he gets too big to safely deliver. It can also cause a blood sugar crash when he’s born, since his own food- breastmilk or formula- won’t have such a high sugar content as his mother’s blood did.

Learning this, I know I need to work hard at keeping my sugar levels stable so that my baby won’t be affected. This isn’t turning out to be too difficult. I’ve started trying to avoid high glycemic foods, like white bread, sodas, refined sugar and things like that. Instead, I’m trying to eat more whole wheat grains as my carbohydrates and also have some protein, such as an egg or handful of nuts or some cheese, whenever I do eat carbs.

It’s important for me to get enough carbohydrates, though, so I can’t limit carbs too much. There is a balance, because the mom’s body has to get most of her energy from carbs. If she doesn’t get enough, then her body will burn fat and produce ketones- which is also bad for the baby.

Luckily, after following the diet recommendations for a week, the next blood test- taken two hours after a normal meal- showed that my blood sugar was fine. So it seems like as long as I continue to eat well, the gestational diabetes should not be a problem and both me and baby should stay healthy for these last few months.

One of my problems is that I’m not a fan of pants to begin with- I don’t think I’ve owned any jeans since the 90s- so maternity pants are out of the question. Unfortunately, that doesn’t leave many options.

I’m also not fond of dresses decorated with cartoon characters, which seems to be a theme at some of the stores I’ve encountered.

Here in China there’s a style of maternity clothes that have lead linings, aimed at protecting the pregnant woman from any potential exposure to radiation. Moms-to-be who work with computers often get these, since there is a general paranoia over computer radiation here that Western moms don’t tend to have. Some of these radiation dresses are, of course, decorated with cute cartoon characters.  Justin and my friends have been teasing me that I need to get an outfit like that. My answer is a very emphatic NO!

I tend to be an eclectic dresser anyway. My favorite style is best described as bohemian. I did manage to find a marvelous long brown flowy maternity skirt at a local market, along with a few extra large skirts that can accommodate my growing belly and some long tops made of stretchy material.

I’m also cheap- I’ll admit it. I hate the idea of buying clothes I’m only going to wear for a couple of months.  And maternity clothes are expensive! I just can’t justify paying three, four, ten times the amount I’d spend on normal clothes for a two-month purchase. I’d rather save the money to spend on cute baby stuff.

Some of my old skirts with elastic waistbands stretch enough that I can wear them under my bump, low on my hips, so that gives me a few possibilities. I don’t think they’ll last me much longer, though, since my bump seems to be growing at an accelerated rate now that I’m in my third trimester.

I guess having only three outfits is ok, as long as I remember to wash clothes every day. The people at work might get tired of seeing me wear the same thing over and over, but these days they’re paying more attention to my growing belly than to what I’m wearing anyway. I can always switch around the accessories if I have to. I’ve already arranged to borrow one of Justin’s large winter coats for December, since my streamlined coat isn’t gonna cut it anymore and I am SO not buying a maternity coat for one month. I’m sure I’m going to look a little silly practically swimming in his big coat, but at least the belly will be warm.

Aside from that, it’s been a fairly warm autumn so far and the central heating should turn on in a few weeks. So staying in my PJs until late in the day isn’t looking like a bad option for the next two months. When winter comes, maybe I’ll splurge on an extra-large robe.

I’d love for this to have been an exaggeration, but it really wasn’t, at least not for me. My morning sickness ranged from a general mild nausea throughout most days to a severe reaction whenever I’d encounter certain smells. Living in a country with a vast tradition of street food didn’t exactly help, either. I also tended to get extremely nauseous after taking my prenatal vitamins, which seemed really counter-intuitive on my body’s part. I kept trying to convince myself “I’m taking this to HELP the baby! Don’t reject it!”

Honestly, it wasn’t as bad as some people have it. I didn’t need to be ready to run to a bathroom and throw up multiple times a day, like some people I knew. The biggest issue for me was how constant it was. I truly felt like there was never a moment when my stomach actually felt ok. It was always either mildly bad, moderately bad or really awful. No respite.

One of the tips I found helpful to ease my churning pregnancy stomach was to eat a small amount of crackers whenever I anticipated severe nausea coming on. This was especially helpful when taken along with my daily prenatal and just before I went to bed. Early mornings were another time for crackers, and I kept a little packet of them at my bedside table just in case I needed them when I woke up.

I also carried around a packet of extremely sweet candy, which I’d eat whenever I wandered into an area that had potentially stomach-upsetting scents. No matter how adventurous eating grilled squid had once seemed to my non-pregnant adventuresome self, now whenever I got close to a cart of it, I’d pull out the candy. I found that holding a hand over my mouth and nose ensured that the candy scent and taste would drown out any other potential problem smells lingering in the air around me. It got to a point where Justin would see a cart ahead and tell me “pop a candy” before we got too close.

Despite the problems of morning sickness, I actually got off pretty lucky in the end. When my second trimester rolled around, my morning sickness dissipated. Turns out this is fairly common, since at about 16 weeks the placenta takes over most of the hormonal functions that cause or add to morning sickness, so the mom’s body isn’t flooded with them anymore. For me it was like waking up from a constant nagging nauseous dream into a pregnancy that actually felt good!

For those just starting on this pregnancy journey who are afraid of needles, don’t worry too much about it. Many of the blood tests are simple ones that only involve a little prick on the tip of a finger. Those are basically checking for the basic levels of things like hemoglobin (which carries iron) in your blood. A low hemoglobin number usually indicates an iron deficiency, common in pregnancy since the baby is pulling a lot of iron out of the mom’s system and the mom’s blood is increasing in volume anyway. The solution for this minor problem is a simple one, either adding more iron to the diet in the form of red meat or taking an iron supplement. I had this problem at my 20 week appointment blood test but iron supplements and diet have cleared it up by now.

One of the more serious things that can be discovered in a blood draw is the possibility of high blood sugar, which can indicate potential gestational diabetes. I had this, too, at my 24 week appointment. (Sometimes I also feel like I’m the Queen of prenatal complications!) The test for this comes in a few parts. The first is a blood draw an hour after you drink a really nasty tasting sugar water concoction. If that test shows high blood sugar, you’ll have to go in for the three-hour OGTT, the Oral Glucose Tolerance Test.

For the OGTT, they took my blood when I came in, after fasting overnight, then made me drink two cups of the nasty glucose solution. Then they took blood at 1, 2, and 3 hours after. The results for this test show how the body reacts to sugar over time, and if these results show high blood sugar in two of the four samples, then you’ll be diagnosed with gestational diabetes.
If this happens, the doctor will recommend a diet to keep your blood sugar levels steady or possibly insulin shots if the sugar levels are very high. Most of the time, the OGTT results come out in a normal range and the woman doesn’t have to do anything different.

Mine were a little high at two of the points, so technically, I have mild gestational diabetes. In my case, the doctor had me eat small meals or snacks five times a day, cut out a lot of sugary stuff and focus on complex carbohydrates and proteins. A week later, a quick finger-prick glucose test two hours after a meal showed perfect glucose levels, so my prescription is to keep up the diet and they’ll keep an eye on my sugar levels when I come in for checkups.

Overall, the blood tests might be an annoyance, but it’s good to have them, because they definitely do point out potential problems early. And most of the problems diagnosed through blood tests are fairly easy to fix as long as they are known about and monitored.

But some things about mommies-to-be are cultural, as I’m rapidly learning. And sometimes those differences can make me feel even more strangely out-of-place than normal. (And being a reddish-haired, freckled, pale-skinned American in Beijing puts me squarely in the “a little out-of-place” category even when I’m not pregnant!)

One of the things that continues to startle me is the way that pregnant women here take it easy. I’m so used to the American culture of working and remaining active pretty much right up until birth. But in China, moms-to-be often take off work for much of the first and third trimesters.  Some go work during their second trimester, but many just stop working during the entire pregnancy. Doctors regularly tell their patients to stay at home for the first 12 weeks. My Chinese friends were shocked that I was climbing the Great Wall with my parents at around week 11. (It was their first visit! You can’t miss the Great Wall on your first visit!) Admittedly, I did plead fatigue on some of the harder portions, but the mere fact I was out there seemed to be shocking to many.

As I get much more visibly pregnant, I’m sometimes greeted with awe and confusion. I’ve been asked why I’m out and not resting at home. Amusingly enough, my standard answer “I’m American. We like to stay active” seems to satisfy almost any curiosity.

Some of my closer Chinese friends have confided in me that they admire my activity levels during pregnancy. One told me recently “I really want to be like you when I have a baby. I want to go to restaurants and walk around town and do stuff with my friends!”

I’m also a curiosity in other ways. The expatriate population in Beiijing is fairly small. I frequently encounter people who have never seen a pregnant foreigner before. (For that matter, I still occasionally encounter people who have never before seen a foreigner, period.) Everyone is extremely friendly, but they do have a lot of questions. Do I plan on working after I have the baby is one. Will I have an ayi is another. (An ayi is like a nanny/ housekeeper/ Chinese granny- it literally means “an auntie” and many people hire an ayi if they don’t have close family nearby. In Chinese culture, the grandparents often come live with the family of a new baby for a while and help the new parents.)

I’m still working out the answers to some of those questions, but there is one Chinese tradition I will definitely NOT be taking part in. A close Chinese friend told me that Chinese mothers traditionally do not bathe or shower or do any work for the first month after the baby is born. They are expected to stay in bed and recover from the birth. No thanks, I say! I’m heading to the showers as soon as I possibly can after I give birth!

If anyone asks me about it, I’ll just tell them I’m American and that’s how we do things in the West.