Justin and I have transitioned from thinking about pregnancy to thinking about baby these days and everything seems to be some combination of getting ready for his arrival and waiting to see when exactly that will be.

I feel like I count things in baby time now. This last week wasn’t nearly as much about “three days, two days, one day until Christmas” as it was about “one week until my due date” or “five days until I stop working and go on semi-maternity leave.” (I tutor outside the home as well as write from home, so my outside work stops, but my at-home work really has no need to, which is why I’m calling it “semi-maternity leave”)

Last Sunday, December 27th, was my “original due date,” the first date they gave me when they calculated from my LMP. We knew it was slightly off though, and it got changed to match the ultrasound, so now I’m considered a few days before my due date instead of a few days after it.

Everyone I see or talk to on the phone or online asks if I’ve had the baby yet. (Nope, but I’m sure I’ll announce it everywhere when I do!)

I feel like I’m trying to balance planning anything with the possibility of having the baby at any moment. Every invitation to go have dinner or see a movie with friends or query as to whether I will be at our local writers’ group this week has to be answered “I think so, as long as I don’t go into labor before then…”

Every time I call Justin, his first questions are “Are you in labor? Do I need to come home from work now?” I’ve learned to call and say “Not yet. Just calling to ask you a question” before he even speaks.

Of course, I’m also wondering how long this waiting game will last. I don’t seem to be exhibiting any signs that he’ll try to beat my self-imposed “wait til January” deadline, but it could always go the other way, too. I’m not sure how I’ll be feeling if he decides to wait a couple of weeks after my due date! At that point, my conversations with my belly are sure to turn from “Just wait a little longer” to “Ok, you can come out now. Please!”

Meanwhile, I’m just waiting. And buying baby clothes. And wondering if I will, indeed, make it to writers group next Monday or not.

I’m joking, of course. I still want him to stay in there until January.

Today, as part of the prenatal workup for the full-term health check, baby and I had what might be our last ultrasound. They will do another one at 40 weeks if he hasn’t arrived by then, but it may or may not get to that point.

In this ultrasound, I noticed that he’s so big now that I really can’t see much anymore. I got a look at his big head and his spine. He’s posterior-facing, looking toward my back, which is good, since that is the easiest position for birth. The tech managed to get a good view of his ear, but that was the only body part that was easily distinguishable from the angle he’s facing. I also got to see that he has some hair, so he won’t be born bald, apparently!
The tech measured his head and body and declared that he is a little over seven pounds. The doctor says this is normal for his gestational age and my ethnicity and height/weight profile. Chinese babies are generally a little smaller than Caucasian babies, just as many of the Chinese women here are smaller than me.

In actuality, what I was told was basically something along the lines of “The baby is big but it’s ok because you have big American hips so you can have the baby naturally and it will be ok.” I think something gets lost in the translation between the doctor’s second-language English and my very poor Chinese. As I told my partner Justin, who had to miss today’s appointment due to work, “Everything looks fine because I’m a fat American and can birth a big baby.”

I am kind of hoping he doesn’t grow too much more. The charts all say that the baby grows about a half pound a week during the last month or so, but since I want him to stay in there another 3-4 weeks, I’m looking at a 8 1/2 to 9 pound baby!

Nonetheless, it was good to see him again and maybe the next time I see him will be not on an ultrasound monitor, but in person. (Just not until January, please.)

“Engaged” in pregnancy terms means something quite different, of course, but many women aren’t sure exactly what it does mean. So here is a little Q&A about the process and what it means.

What does “The baby is engaged” mean?

Basically, when the baby becomes engaged, he or she has dropped into the pelvic cavity and is getting ready for birth. Before that point, the baby is floating around in the womb, with head above the pubic bones, bouncing along merrily as mom goes about her daily activities.

Can you feel when the baby engages?

I didn’t really notice much difference, but it depends on the woman. Most people don’t seem to feel the actual engagement and need to be told by their doctor that it’s happened. Some moms-to-be notice a feeling that the baby has dropped down lower than before, giving a little more room in the upper abdomen that allows for easier breathing (which is why it is also sometimes called “lightening”.) I didn’t really have any breathing issues, so I didn’t notice that. I DID notice that this past week I’ve been having less heartburn, which is probably because baby is not pushing up on my stomach so much. And I’ve also noticed more need to go to the bathroom, probably because of a bit more pressure on my bladder.

Does the baby engaged mean the baby will be born early?

Nope. There’s not really any correlation. In first-time moms, the babe can drop down and become engaged anytime from a month before labor starts up til the day of birth. For subsequent pregnancies it is usually a little later, so it’s not uncommon for second and further babies not to engage until they are ready to be born.

What are the numbers the doctor gives?

The doctor will usually assign numbers- also called stations- to measure engagement. These take the form of +2, _1, 0, -1, -2.  The positive numbers mean the baby is dropping lower and lower, with +2 being when you have baby’s head pushing down on your cervix. Station 0 is the earliest stage of engagement, when the baby is in the middle of your belly with head dipping just down past your pelvic bones. Anything in the positive numbers means the baby hasn’t engaged yet and is still floating above the pelvic bones.

So there it is, an explanation of engaged that doesn’t require grounding your baby for starting to date before out of the womb!

I was thinking last night about when I first found out about my pregnancy and how I basically thought it was kind of funny at the time. It almost didn’t seem real, especially since I’d had a lot of trouble getting pregnant a few years ago when I’d been actively trying so this unexpected pregnancy seemed to be a classic example of “when you stop looking for it, you’ll get what you were looking for.”

But after that first initial realization, the next few months were mostly uncomfortable, with a lot of fatigue, nausea, heartburn and other minor issues that just seemed to go on continuously for about 12-14 weeks.

The first time I really had the realization of this being a little person in there was at my 12 week prenatal appointment, the first ultrasound, where I saw the little vaguely baby-shaped (and kinda alien-shaped!) little creature floating around in there. He was kicking his legs and not doing much else, but it was really cool to see him moving.

At that time, there were a ton of problems- everything from him being too small for his gestational age to having his intestines outside the body still, and I was naturally in a panic over all the problems. Luckily, they’ve all resolved themselves since then, and he seems perfectly fine at this point. He’s even turned over properly, so he’s head-down, and all of the vital signs they check at appointments seem to be good.

Overall, I think I’ve been enjoying pregnancy, despite all of the little inconveniences that come along with it. I know a lot of people find the whole process annoying or frustrating, but I haven’t really felt that way.

Justin teases me that once I have the baby I will get “empty belly syndrome” and want to have another one soon after. I’m not so sure I’ll be quite that eager, but maybe in a year or two.

Meanwhile, I’m heading into the last month, eager to meet my little one, but at the same time eager for him to stay in there long enough for me to get everything done that I need to do before his arrival.

Nonetheless, I’ve been amused and entertained by my baby’s fetal hiccups since I first experienced them a month or so ago. I looked up a lot of stuff about them, curious as to what was going on in there and found answers to some of my questions:

What are fetal hiccups?

Basically, fetal hiccups are when the baby is practicing breathing in the womb. He doesn’t have any air in there, so he’s taking amniotic fluid into his lungs and “breathing” it out again. This makes his diaphragm work hard and sometimes causes hiccups.

Are fetal hiccups a good thing?

Yep. Feeling your baby’s hiccups means that he’s getting practice using his lungs and diaphragm. This means the baby will be able to breathe effectively when he’s born. So fetal hiccups are good and show that the baby is healthy. Besides, they’re kinda cute.

How often do fetuses hiccup?

It depends. Sometimes the pregnant mom doesn’t feel it very often- maybe only a couple of times over the last few months of pregnancy. A few days ago, my baby got an attack of the hiccups three times in one day! So part of it depends on the baby and some on how the baby is positioned, since in some positions, the baby might be getting hiccups but the mom doesn’t feel it.

Can I stop fetal hiccups?

No. There’s pretty much nothing the mom can do about them- just ride it out. Some pregnant women find them annoying, but it’s better to try and think of them as a good, healthy thing. I think sometimes my baby gets frustrated by them, since after a few minutes of hiccupping, he will start squirming around a lot, like he’s trying to stop them or get rid of the sensation. I personally find this really funny, but I kinda feel sorry for him in a way if he’s not happy with his hiccupping!

Overall, I think fetal hiccups are another one of those things that is extremely cute and funny. I’ve heard that some babies who hiccup a lot in the womb will also hiccup a lot when they are newborns. I’m interested to see if my baby will be one of those frequent hiccupers after birth and whether he will get all squirmy and wriggly when he hiccups then like he does now!

At first, the visible movements were a little creepy. Don’t get me wrong, I thought it was quite cool to actually see him. But there’s still something strange and unnerving about watching your own belly move and poke out when you aren’t in control of it at all. As I’ve gotten more and more used to it, it’s become definitely more cool than creepy, though. I still do sometimes get the reaction of “That is so weird” from friends, however.

Meanwhile, I’ve discovered a new source of entertainment involving the baby. I’ve started to try to be interactive with his world by tapping or pushing back when he pushes out on me. If I feel a particularly hard thump, I’ll nudge him in the same spot. Sometimes he will go completely quiet, like he’s wondering what just happened. Other times, he will get even more active, pushing back again, as if to try and see if he can get another reaction from me.

Sometimes I vary the reaction and instead of nudging back, I start to sing or hum to him. This seems to stimulate him to react more, also. I’ve tried to avoid doing this too much in public, though, since I feel kind of silly randomly singing baby songs to my belly in a crowd of strangers.

When I first started this experimental playing back with baby, I was a little worried about whether poking or nudging would hurt the baby in any way, but I’ve since learned that he’s so well protected in there that anything I do would have to hurt me first before it could harm him. So, for moms-to-be who want to try and play interactively with their baby belly- go right ahead. Poking and pushing can’t harm the baby.

The one caveat to this is that I try to not poke him too much if he seems to be in his sleep phase, especially since I’m really starting to notice him shifting between times of inactivity and times of high activity. I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt him, but I can’t imagine he’d be too happy if I kept disturbing his sleep!

I tutor children in English here in China a few times a week and last week when I arrived at one of my students’ homes, I was a little early. She was finishing up her piano practice before English class and invited me to listen. She eagerly showed off a piece she’d been learning. I’m not sure who the composer was, but the music was classical style, maybe Beethoven or Bach.

As the strains of classical piano wafted through the room, the baby started kicking and squirming in response to the music. My student’s piano playing was pretty good- and apparently baby thought so too! His applause was conveyed through twists and turns and thumps.

After class, when I got home, I decided to try to see if the baby would have different responses to different styles of music. It’s been difficult to gauge his reaction at times, but I’m considering any strong movement as approval. (Though I suppose it could mean I’m annoying him with all that noise!)

Now that he’s started developing sleep-wake cycles, times when he is active and times when he is quieter, I had to be sure to pick an active time to try my test. I waited until I felt him start moving around a little and then I began to play a few songs each of different types of music while I sat on the couch and observed his reaction.

So far, he seems to enjoy piano music the best. Jazz gets a little reaction. Rock music doesn’t get much response. Oddly enough, the ringtone on my cell phone seems to be well-received, something I inadvertently discovered when it rang while I had the stereo turned off for a few minutes.

Now I’m wondering if I’ll be investing in a piano a few years down the road. I’m a fairly dismal piano player myself- I learned as a child, but wasn’t very good at it. I did play flute for many years, but piano was something I found more difficult. But maybe he’ll inherit it from the rest of my family, since my mother, grandmother and cousin can all play piano much better than me!

No matter whether he decides he wants to try to play piano later or not, I do find it interesting that sometimes babies will continue to enjoy sounds they heard in the womb and find them relaxing. Perhaps playing Beethoven or Bach on the stereo will be a good way to help him get to sleep when he’s fussy after he’s born.

This condition is not really rare, but it does require a bit of meal planning to deal with it. My doctor recommended eating small meals and snacks all throughout the day- at least three meals and two snacks. Each meal or snack should have some protein and some carbohydrates, with the goal of keeping my blood sugar from shooting up quickly. I was also told to make sure to eat something before bed, since it can help prevent blood sugar from dropping overnight, which could cause a blood sugar spike when I eat breakfast the next morning.

The danger of gestational diabetes is that if the mother’s blood sugar fluctuates wildly, whenever it goes up quickly, the baby’s blood sugar will also rise, since he’s getting blood from her system. When this happens, his body will produce insulin, which will cause him to store excess fat. This is called a macrosomic baby, and it can be dangerous if he gets too big to safely deliver. It can also cause a blood sugar crash when he’s born, since his own food- breastmilk or formula- won’t have such a high sugar content as his mother’s blood did.

Learning this, I know I need to work hard at keeping my sugar levels stable so that my baby won’t be affected. This isn’t turning out to be too difficult. I’ve started trying to avoid high glycemic foods, like white bread, sodas, refined sugar and things like that. Instead, I’m trying to eat more whole wheat grains as my carbohydrates and also have some protein, such as an egg or handful of nuts or some cheese, whenever I do eat carbs.

It’s important for me to get enough carbohydrates, though, so I can’t limit carbs too much. There is a balance, because the mom’s body has to get most of her energy from carbs. If she doesn’t get enough, then her body will burn fat and produce ketones- which is also bad for the baby.

Luckily, after following the diet recommendations for a week, the next blood test- taken two hours after a normal meal- showed that my blood sugar was fine. So it seems like as long as I continue to eat well, the gestational diabetes should not be a problem and both me and baby should stay healthy for these last few months.

One of my problems is that I’m not a fan of pants to begin with- I don’t think I’ve owned any jeans since the 90s- so maternity pants are out of the question. Unfortunately, that doesn’t leave many options.

I’m also not fond of dresses decorated with cartoon characters, which seems to be a theme at some of the stores I’ve encountered.

Here in China there’s a style of maternity clothes that have lead linings, aimed at protecting the pregnant woman from any potential exposure to radiation. Moms-to-be who work with computers often get these, since there is a general paranoia over computer radiation here that Western moms don’t tend to have. Some of these radiation dresses are, of course, decorated with cute cartoon characters.  Justin and my friends have been teasing me that I need to get an outfit like that. My answer is a very emphatic NO!

I tend to be an eclectic dresser anyway. My favorite style is best described as bohemian. I did manage to find a marvelous long brown flowy maternity skirt at a local market, along with a few extra large skirts that can accommodate my growing belly and some long tops made of stretchy material.

I’m also cheap- I’ll admit it. I hate the idea of buying clothes I’m only going to wear for a couple of months.  And maternity clothes are expensive! I just can’t justify paying three, four, ten times the amount I’d spend on normal clothes for a two-month purchase. I’d rather save the money to spend on cute baby stuff.

Some of my old skirts with elastic waistbands stretch enough that I can wear them under my bump, low on my hips, so that gives me a few possibilities. I don’t think they’ll last me much longer, though, since my bump seems to be growing at an accelerated rate now that I’m in my third trimester.

I guess having only three outfits is ok, as long as I remember to wash clothes every day. The people at work might get tired of seeing me wear the same thing over and over, but these days they’re paying more attention to my growing belly than to what I’m wearing anyway. I can always switch around the accessories if I have to. I’ve already arranged to borrow one of Justin’s large winter coats for December, since my streamlined coat isn’t gonna cut it anymore and I am SO not buying a maternity coat for one month. I’m sure I’m going to look a little silly practically swimming in his big coat, but at least the belly will be warm.

Aside from that, it’s been a fairly warm autumn so far and the central heating should turn on in a few weeks. So staying in my PJs until late in the day isn’t looking like a bad option for the next two months. When winter comes, maybe I’ll splurge on an extra-large robe.