I’m joking, of course. I still want him to stay in there until January.

Today, as part of the prenatal workup for the full-term health check, baby and I had what might be our last ultrasound. They will do another one at 40 weeks if he hasn’t arrived by then, but it may or may not get to that point.

In this ultrasound, I noticed that he’s so big now that I really can’t see much anymore. I got a look at his big head and his spine. He’s posterior-facing, looking toward my back, which is good, since that is the easiest position for birth. The tech managed to get a good view of his ear, but that was the only body part that was easily distinguishable from the angle he’s facing. I also got to see that he has some hair, so he won’t be born bald, apparently!
The tech measured his head and body and declared that he is a little over seven pounds. The doctor says this is normal for his gestational age and my ethnicity and height/weight profile. Chinese babies are generally a little smaller than Caucasian babies, just as many of the Chinese women here are smaller than me.

In actuality, what I was told was basically something along the lines of “The baby is big but it’s ok because you have big American hips so you can have the baby naturally and it will be ok.” I think something gets lost in the translation between the doctor’s second-language English and my very poor Chinese. As I told my partner Justin, who had to miss today’s appointment due to work, “Everything looks fine because I’m a fat American and can birth a big baby.”

I am kind of hoping he doesn’t grow too much more. The charts all say that the baby grows about a half pound a week during the last month or so, but since I want him to stay in there another 3-4 weeks, I’m looking at a 8 1/2 to 9 pound baby!

Nonetheless, it was good to see him again and maybe the next time I see him will be not on an ultrasound monitor, but in person. (Just not until January, please.)

He has thus far succeeded in twisting his cord into a knot, which he subsequently untied before the next ultrasound. Then he managed to wrap his cord all the way around himself, including around his neck, which he also managed to get himself out of by the ultrasound after that one- four weeks later.Sometimes it feels like every time we go for another ultrasound the baby has done something new and potentially dangerous with his cord!

Because his cord has become quite the obsession with me, I’ve done a lot of research and written a few articles for various publications about umbilical cord problems. (I figure it’s a good way to simultaneously ease my own mind and help others.)

Some of the things I’ve learned are:

1 – Umbilical cord problems are fairly frequent, but mostly resolve themselves or end up not being too serious. My baby is an example of this, having worried us by getting himself so tangled up more than once but getting himself out of trouble all by himself. Even in cases where the baby doesn’t untangle himself, things like knots and having a cord tangled around the neck or body doesn’t seem to hurt the baby most of the time. As long as the cord doesn’t pull too tight, it’s flexible enough to handle some knotting and twisting.

2 – Umbilical cords are pretty tough. Most of the time people think of the fetus in there as being fragile, and in some ways they are. But the mom’s body is really good at protecting that developing life, and the umbilical cord is one good example. A healthy umbilical cord can be twisted, compressed, knotted or bent and still manage to get enough nutrients and blood to the baby. It’s designed to handle a lot of stress, and apparently fetuses tend to put it through quite a lot, pulling, tugging and twisting it as they grow and explore their watery little world in there. It’s so tough, in fact, that the scissors or knife that the doctor (or the daddy) uses to cut it after birth has to be really sharp to work through it.

3 – There are some potentially major problems that can happen with an umbilical cord, like a too short cord or one that wraps around the neck too tightly right before birth. But doctors all know about these problems, and are really good these days at diagnosing them and immediately instituting measures to fix the problem or move the mom into an emergency C-section to bypass the issue. So even if a big problem does occur, it’s likely to be ok with quick action.

Learning so much about umbilical cords has made me feel a bit better about my baby’s apparent obsession with tangling up his own. In a cute turn of events dealing with the cord, one of the photos we got from his 20 week ultrasound shows him with his hands clenched above him. He was, as the doctor explained, holding onto the umbilical cord with both hands, checking out his lifeline and showing us on camera this strange thing that’s floating around in the amniotic sac with him.

That was what the doctor told me during my first ultrasound appointment at 12 weeks gestation. The little creature growing inside me was apparently measuring smaller than the average size of a baby at that point, and was closer to the size of a fetus 12 days younger.

My first reaction was, of course, instant panic. Too small? What was that supposed to mean? Is the baby not growing? Is it going to be premature? How many different panic-inducing scenarios can I think of before my brain explodes from worry?

Well, I’m pleased to say that after discussing the problem with my doctor, being told that your baby is “too small” isn’t necessarily the major problem it might seem at first. There are apparently a bunch of reasons for a baby to appear too small in an ultrasound. And most of them present no danger to the fetus at all.

The simplest, and most common, explanation is that the estimated date of conception is off by a little bit. Because they estimate the date based on the mother’s last menstrual period, there could be some slight variation in the gestational age if she tends to have irregular cycles. Implantation can also be slightly later than the estimated week after conception, and this can account for a few days of variation between the estimated gestational age and what they see on ultrasound. To determine if this is the case, the doctor will usually look for other potential problems, such as issues with the umbilical cord or any problems in the mom’s blood sample that indicate the baby might not be getting enough nutrients. If no such problems exist, the most common scenario at that point is for the doctor to presume the dates are off and to adjust the due date to match the ultrasound.

In rare cases, if a problem is found, the doctor will likely make sure the mother is taking prenatal vitamins and might suggest sleeping positions that provide more bloodflow to the uterus, such as lying on the left side. In some cases, bedrest may be recommended to reduce the mother’s body being overtaxed. This is extremely rare, however.

More commonly, the doc will do a follow-up ultrasound a few weeks or a month later. If the baby is still measuring according to the new due date, everyone will presume it was a dating error and move on. The only problem then is telling everyone “Oops, I’m due a week later now!”

In my case, this turned out to be the solution. My doctor moved my date one week ahead, putting my baby in the “a–little-small-but- completely-in-normal-range” category. I’m ok with that, actually. I wasn’t too keen on the idea of a Christmas baby, so post-New Years due date suits me just fine.

We’re currently living overseas in a country where revealing the gender is supposed to be illegal. Since we’re going through a private hospital and are both foreigners (Americans) , the rules are more flexible with regard to us. But many people here try to find ways around the rules to learn the sex of their future child, sometimes successfully, sometimes not so much. I’ve been told we were lucky that we get to find out beforehand, and we occasionally encounter a little jealousy that we know already.

Back in the U.S., a friend of mine who is also pregnant has decided she isn’t going to find out the baby’s gender until the birth. I’m not so big on surprises, personally. My attitude was mostly “Tell me! Tell me now!”
It is fun to look at her belly and try to guess, though, and her friends have set up a fun little pool to try and figure it out, so there’s something to be said for the surprise method.

In the end, it wouldn’t have been possible for us to be surprised after all. When we went in for our twenty week ultrasound, the technician maneuvered the wand across my belly, looking at different views of the baby and pointing out different body parts. I’d been a biology major in college and Justin worked as a video tech for a cardiovascular ultrasounds telecourse, so both of us recognized much of what was being shown. When the technician showed us a view of the baby’s butt and legs, she asked “Do you want to know the gender?”

Our response, looking at the ultrasound, was a joint” It’s a boy!” The extra little appendage between the legs was an obvious giveaway. I promptly warned my friend who doesn’t want to know to make sure the ultrasound tech doesn’t accidentally give it away!

For those who do want to know, and like the idea of figuring it out before the tech tells, here’s how to tell the gender of your baby:
Try to think of it this way: boy parts look like a little “turtle” poking out of its shell and girl parts resemble a “hamburger” or three little similar-sized lines in a row. You can usually see this difference by about 16-20 weeks. As the pregnancy progresses, it becomes more and more obvious.

Of course, the next step, now that we know our little bundle of joy will be male, is coming up with a name. We haven’t had quite as much success with that one yet, but we have managed to narrow it down to about five possibilities. Meanwhile, I’m just happy to know what we’re having. And kinda proud that we figured it out before being told.